New Chapter.....

I got fired this week. I never thought it would ever happen to me. I am such a good person. I was raised by two hard-working parents that took pride in their jobs and enstilled that in me. I'm not saying that I was totally innocent in my firing - I did have some faults. Did I deserve to be fired? No. Am I sad that I no longer work at that miserable place for those cold-hearted bastards? You figure that one out. Honestly, I did not shed one single, solitary tear over the fact that I was fired. I was very upset at having to tell my parents that I was fired. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Ashamed that I allowed my miserableness to get so far. Ashamed that I was too lazy to look for another job before this point. Ashamed that I have to worry about money until I find another job. God, I hate looking for a job!! What an absolute pain in the ass!! I hate everything about it. Polishing up the resume, filling out applications, talking to potential employers over to phone to set up interviews, sitting across a big desk with a huge, fake smile in my Sunday best - praying that they like me. It's kind of like high school - wanting the popular crowd to let you join their club. Just give me the damn job! I'll be good at it. You'll like me. And I'll even kiss your ass a little - at least for the first couple weeks. Anyway, that's exactly what I have to do now.

The good news is I have lots of free time on my hands now. So I've decided to take a second look at m Bucket List. It's currently 30 pages long. Don't freak out. Alot of it is lists of books I want to read, movies I want to watch, places I want to go. I recently turned (gulp) 35. Although, I completely feel like a 25 year old, except when my back and knees start hurting. But then I take some Lortab and I'm a sassy 25 year old again!!

One of my biggest fears is that I'll die and everyone will say that I was boring. I am so NOT boring. I may be a little quiet and I haven't done much in my 35 years - but it's not because I didn't want to. So I'm hoping to work on my Bucket List and share it with anyone that wants to read about it. So whoever is out there, if there is anyone out there, let's start this new chapter. I'm opening the book now..... but first I have to get some sleep.